You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If....

• Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
• You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
• Your firehouse has wheels.
• You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
• You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.
• That outhouse fire was with entrapment.
• You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.
• At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.
• Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
• You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
• You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
• Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
• Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
• Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
• Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.
• The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
• You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy.
• Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
• You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
• Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
• Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
• The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.